The Rules Don't Change

Imagine a conservative evangelical "gay-friendly" church with gay Christians that modeled sexual boundaries to both gay and straight people. Is there one? I'm not talking about celibacy. I'm talking about genuine committed relationships. There's something that's really been bugging me lately.

I've spoken to a number of gay Christian couples who can verbally acknowledge that sex is a sacred thing. Our bodies are a temple for the Holy Spirit - sex creates a one flesh union between the two - yadda yadda yadda. There's also a movement of people advocating same-sex marriage saying that not only do gay people have a right to marry, but also that God can and would bless such a union. Fine. I'll concede that for the moment for the sake of exploring a broader point that I'm observing.

Here's the thing. If a committed gay relationship was just like a committed straight relationship in that both placed a high value on commitment, then wouldn't the guidelines for when sex was appropriate in the relationship be the same in both the gay and the straight relationship? In a straight relationship, it's typically accepted that pre-marital sex is a no-no. (This would be referred to as fornication). So then wouldn't it be logical to say that pre-marital sex in a gay relationship would also be unacceptable?

Why is it that "some" gay Christians embrace their acceptance in God's eyes by thinking that it's okay to have gay sex just because they are in a relationship? Relationship doesn't necessarily imply commitment and commitment doesn't necessarily imply covenant. If sexual activity were only acceptable within a marriage context, and marriage could be defined by a covenant between the three (God and the two individuals acknowledging that God has brought them together to be one), then wouldn't the acceptable thing in a gay relationship be to abstain from sexual activity until their relationship matures to the point of lifetime covenant?

Please note that I am not, at this moment, talking about the acceptability of gay relationships (please hold any comment regarding this because that would be off-topic). I'm talking about the fact that I'm frustrated - even irritated - by this double standard by "some" gay Christians who will simply have sex and claim that God blesses it just because they know that God blesses gay Christians. Being accepted as a gay Christian has nothing to do with whether or not sex is acceptable! I find it troubling when i speak to "some" gay Christians who tell me that they "feel" that God said that this is okay or that they "know" that this person indeed is the one that they have been waiting for his/her whole life and so it's okay to be having sex with the person after only two weeks, two months, or two years even though it's prior to establishing a covenant with each other.

This seems absurd to me. No wonder why "some" conservative straight Christians refuse to acknowledge gay people as Christians because of the fear and assumption of promiscuity among them. That God loves gay Christians cannot be used as an excuse to have sex. If we can acknowledge that sex is sacred and is reserved for those in a covenant relationship, then the rules must apply regardless of whether or not it's gay or straight. There needs to be sexual boundaries within His Church - both gay and straight.

A young straight couple out of high school is told not to fornicate - not to have sex until they are married. The same expectations should rest upon the gay couple. The gay couple ought to hold off from being sexually intimate until their relationship has matured into a covenantal context. Again, i'm saying this in the context that sex is sacred.

I think that "some" gay Christians abuse their freedom because they are so tired of having the Church say that they can't be Christians and so they refuse, with sinful pride, to listen and follow guidelines for holy living. As Christians, both gay and straight, we are called to be set apart - holy. The rest of the world who choose not to yield to Jesus as Christ live with indulgence. We, as Christians, both gay and straight, are not to live that way. Sex is sacred and the very act itself should be honoring to the Lord by mirroring His covenant of love and faithfulness towards us.

Granted, I'm saying all this with what some may view as an ultra conservative viewpoint in regards to sex (of which I don't apologize for) and maybe I'm simply a romantic but I just think the standard should be consistent. If being a gay Christian meant that I can have gay sex without restriction, then I would strongly plant my position on the side that says no. However, being a gay Christian does not imply the acceptance of gay sex outside of a covenantal context. Part of being and growing as a mature Christian means that we make the distinction between love and lust. We put off self-indulgence and we put on self-control. It just seems clear to me. If it's right for straight people to abstain, then it's right for gay people to abstain.

Note: If you're going to weigh in on this, remember that I'm not talking about whether or not it's okay to be in a gay relationship. I'm saying that for those who do believe that it's okay should at the very least also acknowledge that our view of the acceptability of sex for gay people should be the same as for straight people.