Position or Process

Anyone can make a good argument for a position. However, trying to prove something true or right could potentially cause a person to lose sight of the bigger picture. There are more important things than simply being right.

Relationship.

People disagree. That's a fact. It's a reality we live with. But sometimes a person can be such an advocate, with an insincere 'I want to help you know the real truth' mask, that they don't even realize that the relationship with their victim - oops, i mean friend - is at jeopardy. I think that a huge problem in the Church today is that it simply doesn't know how to disagree with itself . . . .

Conservative. Liberal. Pro-life. Pro-choice. Peace. War. Gay marriage. Celibacy. We all believe what we believe for what ever reason. The problem is when fellowship is broken with those who disagree with the 'position' and even going so far as disowning the 'brother' or 'sister' from the Body of Christ itself. He believes this so he's not a Christian. She believes that so she's not a Christian. Not a good one at least.

I was listening to a friend the other day talk about his suspicions that an aunt could be a lesbian. He was practically confused because he knows her to be a Christian. They have had spiritual conversations. They've worshipped together. He knows that she is born again. But - she might be gay? Is that possible? What does this mean now? Is she still Christian? Is she a gay Christian? Is she still family? This is the kind of thing that shifts and shapes paradigms - when it's too close to home to stand firmly on a 'position'. It's easy to advocate and/or throw stones when a person is less connected to the opposite position. But when a loved one is gay but also Christian (or on the other side when a loved one is straight but also Christian) - it calls the question, it forces the issue.

Are you going to stick to your position out of righteous truth or will you take a step back for the sake of the relationship and attempt to understand the other side with proper grace?

It takes a process. This process includes a reassessment of one's own beliefs. It includes looking at all sides of an issue - being educated and informed objectively and seeing if one's own beliefs change, are modified, or are strengthened. This process also leads to sensitivity with others who disagree. It's not simply black and white because when a person genuinely examines all the angles, the discovery is made that there are good points to be made on any side. Some points may seem a little shaky but at least the process allows a person to respect how another person can come to a potentially different conclusion from oneself.

We may disagree but we can preserve the relationship. The process changes the way we disagree.

In the past five days, i've spoken to a variety of people with differing positions. One says that it's okay to be gay in a loving and committed context. One says that it's okay to acknowledge being gay but celibacy is required. One says that it is not okay to be gay and that transformation is necessary prior to entry into Heaven. One says that he simply doesn't know but it's better not to do anything just to play it safe. A blog reader commented that i should just get 'laid' already and moving on with life will get easier (- it was too funny to delete). The significant thing about each of them is that they all truly and genuinely love Jesus and worship Him sincerely.

I've asked alot of questions - to God, to friends. Yet, for me it's not about the answers friends give me because I'm not going to conclude my own belief because of what one particular person told me. It's not about the convincing argument. It's about engaging in this process - not just for me - but for their sakes as well. I believe that it's just as important for those in my community to engage this process with me. It's not just me on the journey, it's my community on the journey. In my opinion, the process we engage that stimulates our relationships is more important than the positions that we may disagree on. I'll leave 'Truth' in God's hands to reveal.

Besides, I trust Jesus enough to guide each of our process so that, in the end, we become more God worshipping people who are much more loving towards each other.