About Me

My name is Eric and i'm a 34 year old male, Christ-centered, gay, filipino, near-sighted in one eye, overachieving work-a-holic, detail-oriented visionary, outgoing introvert living in Southern California who thinks about stuff WAY too much.

[Note: My age has been updated. LOL, my photo has not.]

My Faith:

I've been a Christian since 1992 - my junior year in High School. I love God. I believe and have accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior and Lord, the Son of God. I believe that the Bible is God's inspired Word. I believe that we are called to live out our faith - not simply to go with the flow of religious routine. He's a very personal God and I interact with Him daily. For more on my paradigm of "Church", see the links in the section in the right side column.

My Struggle:

I'm gay...sort of. Depends on who you ask and what definition you're using. I've experienced same-sex attractions since 2nd or 3rd grade. I lived a secret life - hidden from loved ones - for pretty much all my life - save these past few years.

I know what it's like to struggle with my faith and my sexuality. I know what it's like to feel completely alone in the Church. I know what it's like to go through the typical cycle of being tempted, trying to resist, giving in, "sinning", feeling guilty and shameful, eventually turning back to Jesus for forgiveness, then being tempted again. It's frustrating and i'm tired of it.

My Journey:

I want peace between my faith and my same sex attractions. Can I have a partner? Do I have to be celibate? Do I need to be changed? Is there no hope for me?

I came to the realization that what I used to believe about homosexuality being a sin came from a place of being uninformed. I believed it simply because it was the only thing I was taught and I intentionally denied myself the opportunity to hear anything remotely "gay Christian" related. After realizing this, it raised the question: Do I really believe that being gay is a sin or do I believe it because that's what everyone else around me seemed to believe and teach it? Everyone's got a different viewpoint. If I'm gonna own my beliefs, then I've gotta take a step back to explore each side and discern for myself in study and prayer.

What does it look like for me to live out my faith being the man that I am?

UPDATE:

I started this blog in July 2005 and have grown quite a bit since. I don't struggle now the way I used to when I first started this blog. I feel like I have reconciled my faith and my same sex attractions. Now, the question is:

"What does it look like to be both gay and Christian?"

Read my testimony as of January 2006 to see where I've been, where I am now in this journey, and where I'm going.

Read my ex-gay survivor story here.

Read my posts relating to my paradigm of 'Church' here.

Also start with the July Archives to see how I started this process! You can always check out the "Hot Topics" section on the right side or further down you can check out the "Catch up on what you've missed" section to see all the categories of things i've written about.

If you are visiting for the first time or haven't done so yet, be sure to check in here!