Podcast Interviews

I had the honor of being interviewed by Justin and Brian on GCN Radio's podcast. It was my first podcast interview that i've done so far and I had fun doing it. It's the first episode of their fourth season of broadcasting the show. How awesome, huh? Be sure to check it out at GCN Radio's archive page - it's the February 10th episode. For most of you, you'll get to hear what my voice sounds like! =)

Later this week, i'm scheduled to do another podcast interview with Zeke over at Godscrum. Zeke runs a blog called "One For Truth" and from what I know of him so far, he believes that homosexuality is a sin but thinks that the Church should be demonstrating alot more grace and mercy towards gays than it currently is. He's been keeping up with my journey here at TWC and we've emailed a few times. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop by over at Zeke's and if you'd like, post a question here for him to ask me during the interview. I think his audience is primarily heterosexual. Thanks!

For the Kingdom and For the Baby

We all want to protect our children. At least, I would hope we all do. Our society values the life and safety of kids. If we don't have kids of our own, we are protective of our nieces and nephews. If none of those, then at least the grade school kids playing out during recess must be kept safe. Either way, we guard over our children.

I don't have any kids - yet! I'd sure like to have kids one day. In my immediate family, I've got five nieces and one nephew. I love 'em all! But I have to admit that, as a man, I do not fully comprehend the experience of being pregnant, giving birth, and raising my own children. I may not fully know 'maternal instinct', but I do have an 'uncle's instinct' and I'd die to protect the family's young ones.

However, I do have a kind of 'maternal instinct'. I do know what it's like to be pregnant with an idea, to see that idea birthed into a faith-based non-profit organization (the public ministry that i've referred to in the past), and nurtured it to see it grow and multiply. I know what it's like to clean up after it and change its diapers. I know what it's like to be proud of it. I know what it's like go broke to support it. I know what it's like to lose sleep over it. I know what it's like to love it. I know what it's like to feel like it's a gift from God. I know what it's like to want to protect it with my life when it's threatened. And protecting it is precisely what I was trying to do this week . . . .

My ministry partner and I have been friends for about eight to nine years. We've grown to appreciate a common heart and paradigm for the Church and His Kingdom in the city. About four years ago (this coming May), God began to give us a vision for ministry. We both continued to dialogue about these things that He was placing on both our hearts - God's heart for unity but the Church's current state of division; God's heart for mission but the Church's growing ineffectiveness and irrelevance in the city culture.

Who are we that God would do anything through us?

We were available. For Him. And it's an honor to serve Him in any way. So we began to live out these Kingdom values of unity and mission by building relationships throughout the city with church leaders, business leaders, community leaders, civic leaders, and city officials. And in these relationships, God granted us their favor. Our mission was to catalyze God's people to live out their faith.

God birthed this non-profit organization through my ministry partner and I. We were the co-founders and we treated it like it was our "baby". We are protective of the work we do because so much of it is relationally based. We're not about programs and numbers - rather, our measures of success are increased levels of trust within relationships. If trust can be established through relationship, then partnership can take place and people can begin to function in unity.

One of the reasons why our organization is so dear to my heart is because of what it symbolizes for me and my journey - the fact that God can use a guy like me (gay and all) to accomplish His purposes. It is truly humbling that God would do such things through us. I've made mistakes in my past but this organization symbolizes to me that I am not disqualified for His service - regardless of what the Church may think about me.

But that seemed to be the problem. The Church - at least the mainstream part of it - is primarily still Side X and would not approve of me. Personally, I have resolved that God does approve of me - and even further, qualifies me - but the mainstream Church still takes issue. Whole denominations across the country (and world) are dividing over this issue. As factions take sides, the Church is warring with itself and we're seeing the wreckage of these battles in our families, our communities, our churches, and our cities.

Early on in my journey, it was still pretty safe to be part of our organization because I was simply "wrestling" with the issue. But now that I have found resolution in myself being both gay and Christian and have even started "dating", it complicates things a bit for the organization. The purpose of our organization is to be a bridge builder. One of our hopes is to catalyze the Church in the "hot zone" - to stimulate the Church to dialogue about the issue of faith and homosexuality and answering the question . . . .

What do we do with those gay Christians?

In order to do this, our organization needs to be neutral and it needs to be strategic in the timing of these dialogues. My presence in the organization hinders this because of the Church's historical nature of responding with irrational hostility. About 75% of our relational networks - the relationships that we've invested in building for over three years - would disassociate from us simply knowing about me and my "lifestyle". Right or wrong, it's true.

My ministry partner is fully willing to go down this road with me. He'd be ready to "take the hits" in his relationships and in our organization. We trust each other and he honors me in his willingness to stand by my side through the fallout when people begin to discover that I'm openly gay (Side A).

He's willing. I'm not.

I'm not willing to have the organization take the hits of controversy. I'm not willing to trade my own sense of justice for myself in exchange for the organization's ability to continue its work towards unity and mission. I'm not willing to see my ministry partner have his relationships with the pastors of the city sacrificed.

The work of the Kingdom trumps my own personal justice. The dialogue within the Church about the issue of gay Christians is more important than what people think of me. And so, for the sake of the Kingdom and for our organization (our "baby"), I will be the one to "take the hit". I've decided to step away from the organization so that it can continue it's purpose without the controversy of me. The dialogue can happen more effectively if I'm not a part of the organization. It's a no-brainer.

How do I feel about all this? You can imagine. I was remembering an old post from way in the beginning . . . "I'm No Superman" - and I've cried this week thinking about the song. I've grieved this week thinking about the reality of not being able to directly be a part of our organization - this thing we did together.

Both my ministry partner and I are in mutual agreement that this is the best decision. I have a peace about it. We are not parting ways like Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36-41). Rather, he is continuing the work we started with the mainstream faith community while I continue the work with the GLBT faith community. We will continue to interact as we always have - we're friends! - and when the time is strategically right with the relationships we've both developed in each of our spheres, we'll bring them together for that dialogue - the mainstream Church with the GLBT Church - reintroducing siblings who were disowning each other. I believe that Christ will return again - and that He's coming for a Bride, not a harem. Helping the whole Church come together is what this is all about.

What does this mean for me practically? I won't have a job. I'll transition out until the end of March so that others can take over my responsibilities.

What's next? The formal establishment of Two World Collision.

It's a step of faith. But then again, this whole journey has been a walk of faith. Stay tuned!

A Relationship Dynamic With Mr. Right

So I’ve been seeing someone.

About two months ago, I allowed myself to start “dating”. Several months before that, I had been wrestling with the concept of being both gay and Christian, and now I’m much more comfortable with the person I am - a Christ-centered gay guy who is simply trying to love God and others more properly. Part of this dynamic includes the prospect of entering into a romantic relationship.

As I’m becoming more and more familiar with the gay culture, I’m discovering that physical affection and even sexual connection is not uncommon early on in the get-to-know-you process. Is that what I’m wanting? I’ll admit that, having done my time in the closet, I do long for a certain kind of touch from another guy. But does accepting myself as a gay man mean that it’s okay for me to be a part of that gay culture that seems so liberal with physical and sexual intimacy? Do I have to redefine my values based on what is common among other gay men in “relationships”?

This is the first time I’ve allowed myself to go on dates with another guy and pursue a potential romance so I realize that I’ve got a lot to learn about dating and relationships. I’ve talked before about “Mr. Right” and the kind of guy I’m looking for. But in this process, I’m learning a lot more of what I’m wanting in a relationship . . . .

We haven’t defined anything yet between the two of us. We don’t consider ourselves “in a relationship” with each other. We’re simply “seeing each other”. We’re getting to know each other. We’re going on dates. But it’s also okay for either of us to go on dates with other people. We’re not exclusive.

Sometime during the first week of seeing each other, we had the talk about “sex”. Maybe it was a newbie mistake, breaking some kind of “Do’s and Don’ts” dating rules, but I wanted to get it out on the table right from the very beginning. I told him that I didn’t want to have sex - at least, not right now. Fortunately, that conversation went off well because the feeling was mutual. Now, don’t get me wrong. The physical attraction was definitely mutual. But we both are looking for something of substance. He’s been with guys before and he’s communicated to me that he’s not looking for a “quickie” or something “casual”. I’ve had one night stands before and I’m not looking for another connection that will just leave me feeling guilty afterwards. I’m looking for something that can last - something with a foundation - and I don’t want sex to screw that up or confuse things (or even complicate things).

It’s actually been good getting to know each other and knowing that we are both on the same page in regards to sex between the two of us. But it does get difficult at times. Temptation. Argh! There are definitely times when we are together and we get a bit “touchy”. We’ve been physically affectionate but we’ve never crossed that established boundary of sex that we both agreed upon. I don’t feel guilty about the physical affection. But I do find myself wondering if the degree of physical affection is consistent with how much we know each other thus far.

When is it okay for us to kiss? When is it okay for us to “make out”? When is it okay for us to hold hands in public? When is it okay for us to place a hand on the other’s knee? When is it okay for us to cuddle? When is it okay for us to give each other massages? When is it okay for us to share a bed (without having sex)? When is it okay for us to have sex?

A part of me wants to just allow things to develop naturally and not jinx the potential relationship with a pre-set timeline of physical milestones. But I do think that I’d like the natural progression of physical intimacy to be consistent with our “knowledge of each other”. I’m not referring to simple facts about each other’s history. But I guess I’m looking for a relationship where the other guy “knows” me. I want him to gradually get to know things about me that I may not necessarily share with him specifically - things like my idiosyncrasies, my catch phrases, my facial expressions when I’m happy or sad or mellow or excited. I want him to get to know what I value or what I’m passionate about based on his observations of my life. As we get to know each other, I want our physical intimacy to match.

Is it right for us to be familiar with certain body parts before being familiar with each other's family members?

As it is now, we are still just getting to know each other and we are still both open to allowing ourselves to get to know other people too. We are not yet at a point of commitment. So should we be non-sexually physically affectionate at this stage of our interaction with each other? If yes, then to what degree?

We’ve already had this conversation with each other - we’re both on the same page regarding these things (I hope! - he reads this blog. Am I making another newbie mistake right now? Sorry, just remember this . . . ). So while we have set a boundary in regards to sex with each other, there’s also a mutual understanding that we don’t want to allow things to get more affectionate beyond what seems to match our current state of non-physical connection.

Is this making sense? Am I rambling? Perhaps . . . .

The other thing that I was thinking about was what I am wanting in a relationship. Besides knowing the kind of guy that I want to be with, I’m learning that there’s also a certain dynamic that I’m wanting in a relationship.

I want a relationship with passion - not just that both of us have passion about life or even that both of us have things that we are passionate about. In a relationship, I want our passions to complement each other. We don’t necessarily have to have the same passions, but I want a relationship where his passions stimulate my passions. I want a relationship where we both encourage each other to live out those passions and that doing that isn’t a distraction from the relationship. Rather, encouraging each other to live out our passions is an extension of our relationship.

I want a relationship with life. I’m not so naïve to think that the “honeymoon” stage never wears off. I know that it does. But I want a relationship that is more than simply reporting in to each other what we did during our day. I want a relationship where we can naturally unpack how we felt about things that happened in our day. I want to be able to communicate with each other how life has affected us. In doing this together, I want a relationship where we are living out life together.

I want a relationship with flavor. I want us to affect one another. I want to grow and to be challenged to be better - I want this to be a fruit of our relationship. I want to be stimulated to think differently about the world. I want to be encouraged to evaluate and assess my motives and my actions without a sense of condemnation. I want to learn from his strengths and I want him to learn from mine.

Maybe saying that I want these things reveals that I actually am naïve regarding relationships. I don’t know if these things are realistic. Maybe I’ll post a year from now laughing at myself for wanting a relationship with passion, life and flavor. But for now, I think it’s okay to want a certain kind of dynamic in a relationship. I don’t want a relationship that simply goes through the motions. I want a relationship that is driven forward - I want a relationship where we are both moving somewhere, together.

I know I’m going to meet a lot of different kinds of guys - some with certain values, some with certain personalities. But as I allow myself to date and allow for the possibility of a romance to develop, I’m not so concerned about what either of us can “give” to each other in the relationship or even what either of us are “getting” from each other in the relationship. What I’m more concerned about is the person we each are “becoming” because of that relationship with each other.

My Mr. Right becomes Mr. Right (for me) when he also becomes willing to work towards a relationship dynamic like this one. That’s someone I can share the rest of my life with.

thECable

I'm honored to have one of my blog essays published in the recent quarterly newsletter for Evangelicals Concerned Western Region. It's from my post "Embracing A Different Gospel" and is featured on page 1! It indicates my alias last name ("Johnson") on the byline.

The newsletter is called thECable and the paper version is mailed out to its members. You can view the PDF version by clicking the link below:

thECable - Winter 2005-06 Newsletter

Agree To Disagree

So i've made a few references here and there about this event that i'm a part of putting on. It's kind of like a conference except it's alot more interactive among the participants. The focus is on looking for indications of hope and life in the city of Los Angeles. We're bringing together different sectors of the city as well as different theological streams of the Church. This is something that is put on in several other major cities around the world and the planning teams typically have 1-2 years to plan ahead of time.

We were given two months.

It's been an exciting journey. In planning for this event, worlds constantly collided - anywhere from clashes between theological perspectives, issues regarding the whole gay Christian thing, differences in worship expressions, leadership styles, organizational styles, and even personalities. In the midst of all this clash, I have witnessed God redeeming relationships and situations. I mention all this because we are currently having the event right now - this weekend. My responsibility for the event is to manage all of the logistics and so I happen to have some down time allowing me to write and process recent events . . . .

All of us are pretty exhausted though - emotionally, physically, mentally, even a bit spiritually. I'll be looking forward to taking a couple days off.

One of the major issues that came up during the past two months was that the original location for this event was going to be hosted at a church in Los Angeles that is known to be gay-affirming and has a gay pastor. That raised a red flag in several people and so a decision was made (without discussion) to change the location. This is what I articulated in "Profoundly Offended". Since then, the team met through the Christmas and New Year holidays, wrestled over the issue together and we were able to form a kind of bond with each other while being able to move forward. We learned how to work together even though we may disagree on certain things. The location of where the event is hosted now has worked out pretty well.

A couple weeks ago, I talked about how "Some People Make Me Vomit". This was when some people voiced strong opposition to praying with certain other types of people. Literally, they were not wanting to pray in the same room as "them". At first, the main issue was that they didn't want to pray with people who believed that "homosexuality" was okay. (They were connected with alot of the drama that was happening with the split in the Episcopal Church USA with some of their churches disaffiliating and realigning under the covering of some African Anglican bishops because the American Episcopal Church was allowing gay and lesbian clergy.) So at first, it was a gay issue (even though they say it's a "Truth of Scripture" issue but I say it's an "Interpretation of Truth of Scripture" issue). Whatever. After a lot of conversations and wrestling, they ended up quitting from the prayer team which I felt pretty bitter about because they hindered my efforts and stimulated a divisive attitude towards an event that is meant for unity.

Even through some rather difficult times of trying to figure out how we can function together and even trust each other, we've all been committed to what we're trying to do in this event - which is to identify signs of hope in the city. God redeemed alot of the conflict by bringing about unity among us. This "unity" doesn't necessarily mean that we all agree. It just means that we all have acknowledged our common bond of Christ and our common heart for the city. In this way we have agreed to disagree. In other words, it's okay that we disagree about some things. As long as we remain committed to the cause - the cause of Christ and His will for the Kingdom in our city.

We've partnered with several seminaries, colleges, and universities who are offering their students class credit for registering and being a part of this event. In addition, there are pastors, church leaders, non-profit leaders, business leaders, civic leaders, professors, and even authors that are participating in this event.

Yesterday morning and afternoon was the class portion for the registered students. Then last night began the weekend event for all of the participants. From a logistical point of view, everything ran smoothly! In fact, it was odd. I've organized and planned many events and last night ran extraordinarily smooth. We stayed on schedule - everything was on-time! It was great. I heard some good feedback from participants who found the first night to be very insightful.

*whew!*

Today was a bit more hectic because we had a tight schedule. In the morning, we had 7 panelists comprising of two elected officials, a faith-based community leader, two non-profit leaders, a business leader, and a school psychiatric/social worker. All have had some kind of impact in Los Angeles and so hearing each of their different perspectives regarding the city and where the signs of hope are was very interesting.

A small snag that we hit, behind the scenes, was that the lunch caterer came 45 minutes late which increased a bit of the stress level. An interesting moment that I had was sensing from the Lord telling me to ask the two individuals (who I mentioned before that quit the prayer team - the ones who made me vomit) to pray. They agreed to pray. When the caterer finally arrived, it gave us only 15 minutes until the scheduled lunch time. We had an army of people ready and waiting for them to arrive, so when they finally came, they all worked together to get it all done. Lunch was ready only 5 minutes after our scheduled time.

Having lunch ready was significant because of what was happening next. All the teams were placed in five groups who went out into Los Angeles to visit 3-4 sites where people and/or organizations were working to serve their community. The goal was to actually see, hear, touch, and smell what God is doing out there in the city - outside of the church walls. The key here, too, was that they all took public mass transportation. That's why lunch being on time was important because we were worried about one of the groups missing their bus. Anyway, many of the people have been saying that the experience of mass transit in visiting these sites has added value to what they are witnessing. My buddy is on one of the teams and he shared with me that it was incredible to see Skid Row with his own eyes and to interact with people in his group.

So that's what's going on right now. All the participants are out in the city and I'm here in the command center in case anyone encounters any problems or emergencies. Since everyone has been making their buses on time and making it to their sites, I haven't had much to do - thus, the free time to blog! =)

Tonight, everyone will come back as a group to debrief their experience. Tomorrow, everyone is going on church visits - going to churches of varying denominational and worship expressions. Sunday afternoon, after lunch, they'll return here again to debrief their experience visiting the different churches and to talk about what they all have seen and observed throughout the weekend. Then we'll follow up with a time of discerning how we each should respond locally to what was seen.

The goal for all this is to stimulate ongoing relationships and ongoing conversations. We are all seeing signs of hope in the midst of geographic, ethnic, theological, age, and gender diversity. It's amazing! Let's hope and pray that God continues to open the eyes of His Church in the city and to prompt us all to respond to His Spirit!

Sankofa (Part Four)

**Sankofa is a four part series looking backward so that I can move forward. Be sure to read Sankofa (Part Three) to see how I've been journeying through what it looks like to be both gay and Christian. Now, we've come to the final part of this series - examining the direction that I've been sensing the Lord leading me . . . .

Years ago, I used to teach in Bible studies that God would use a person's greatest weaknesses to reveal His strengths through that person. I believed that. Sort of. That is, I believed that it was true for those people in the Bible studies I was teaching - but not for me. Definitely not for me. My weaknesses? That's practically . . . . unbelieveable. There's no way!

My greatest weaknesses were my gayness and my disconnectedness. Keep in mind, this was years ago - back when I was way way Side X. For God to use my weaknesses, they would have to be made known. And with me being in the dark and lonely closet, that was not going to happen!

I've always known God to have an odd sense of humor. The way He pin points the things I'm most afraid of and then uses me to minister on His behalf in that area. I'd almost say it's kind of cruel if I didn't know through first hand experience how much He really loves me and would never do something like that as a mere joke for the heavenlies. Nah . . . . I know better than that.

So now, I'm seeing Him do it again. He's using the fact that I'm gay and that I've always felt disconnected from people, family, the Church, the world - leading me to a place of personal resolution and connection so that I can help others going through a similar journey - leading me to a place of being a herald for God's people to live a lifestyle of faith . . . .

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

It's a battle, isn't it? This struggle for justice - equality for GLBT individuals in our society and in our Church. Differences in theologies mixed with social stigma keeps people like us marginalized, even silenced. All of our efforts to live a public life are labeled an "agenda". We have parades and TV shows and 'out' celebrities to pave the way for dialogue - hoping that, slowly but surely, society and culture will shift and change to eventually and inevitably accept us.

Is it enough? What will it take for us to see change? What do we need to do to stimulate the unstoppable revolution that will bear the same kind of fruit for GLBT acceptance that the Civil Rights Movement bore for ethnic minorities?

I do not want to wave a rainbow flag!

This is not the cause I signed up for! As a believer in Christ, He is my cause. My cause is to love Him more properly. My cause is to love other people more properly. My cause is to inspire others to do the same. These are our two greatest commandments and our Great Commission.

That is my agenda.

If we are going to move forward, insisting to our society and our Church that we are accepted by God through faith in Christ, then we must move beyond simply proclaiming it. We must function as if we have already been accepted by God. I agree with GCB that "we simply have to start living what we desire". As the GLBT faith community, we need to start demonstrating God-given leadership within His Church. Just like the GLBT community, the Church as a whole has also been marginalized - even silenced - to where we no longer shape our society. Rather, we are merely reacting to society. We have lost our effectiveness. We need to be salt once again - flavoring the world around us so that Christ's love is revealed. That love will shape relationships that will, in turn, shape our neighborhoods and communities. The Church needs leaders and I think that we are the ones who should step up and fill the gap.

God has fully empowered us to accomplish His will. We don't need to fight for the right to be a part of it. We already are! So we can't legally be married and be acknowledged in all states. So what? It doesn't stop us from continuing to love each other properly. So we can't legally get full insurance benefits and privileges that heterosexual married couples enjoy. So what? It doesn't stop us from continuing to support one another (and even more so, as a community). What if we entrust these "issues" to God and focussed our energies on the things in this world that God talked about constantly - the poor, the sick, and the elderly?

What if the GLBT faith community led the way of serving those in poverty, ministering to the sick, and caring for our seniors? What if we supported the ONE campaign? (I've got my bracelet! Do you?) What if we lived out our faith in such a way that our servanthood revealed our leadership rather than us waiting for the Church to acknowledge our right to be leaders? Perhaps the GLBT faith community can set a positive example for the broader GLBT community by demonstrating what genuine healthy platonic same gender friendships looked like. What if we called on our community to uphold a value of respect, love, commitment, faithfulness, and monogamy? What if we inspired people to love properly?

We need to be the ones who serve as the role models for young GLBT people newly "out" to themselves and the world. We need to be the ones to show them that they don't have to have the old typical "coming out" experience of exploring newfound freedom. We ought to introduce them to the freedom we have in Christ - to love properly, healthy, and respectfully other people of the same gender.

A couple weeks ago, a woman shared during a service that she heard a song on the radio and decided that she wanted to learn how to play it. So she took the time to learn the song, practice it, and played it for all of us. We need to do the same thing. Jesus modeled for us the Kingdom values. He showed us what it looked like to love the outcasts. He showed us what it looked like to pray to the Father for each other. He showed us what it looked like to serve those in need. He showed us what it looked like to bless those who were formerly cursed. He played an awesome song for us. Let's learn how to play it! Let's live out a lifestyle of faith that affects every person we interact with.

Over the past several weeks, I've been seeking the Lord what He wanted of me through this whole Two World Collision thing. It was clear to me that this blog was meant to be a tool to help me and you process - something that would inspire us both to a lifestyle of faith. So He's placed several other things on my heart - a ministry for serving the colliding worlds of church paradigms and sexuality.

We'll see how this all evolves. For now, I think He's given me direction - a vision - to catalyze a culture of trust and unity among the GLBT faith community and the broader Church by inspiring them to live out their faith.

What will this look like? I'm excited to see what's ahead. In the mean time, i'd like to start moving towards the following objectives:

Personal Coaching and Scholarships

I'd like to provide personal coaching for others struggling with the conflict between their faith and their sexuality. I'd like to be a part of helping these loved ones along that journey of seeking Christ personally for the answers. I don't want to be the one to necessarily give them the answers. I want to stimulate them with the right questions. Even the ones that question the old answers. I trust Jesus enough to guide them with the peace, resolution, and even answers.

I'd also like to partner with other personal coaches who will journey with these loved ones. This personal coaching can take the form of personal phone calls, emails, instant messages, or even personal visits. I'd even like to travel across cities, states, or the nation for week long coaching. Instead of them going somewhere foreign for help, I'd like to go to them - the place where they have to live this all out. I'd like to be able to give them an opportunity to talk with a person face to face about the things they are terrified to say to anyone in the Church. I'd like to allow them to ask their questions and to start their journey of exploring those questions with Christ. If it's fitting, i'd like to be able to accompany a person as they try to talk with a family member or pastor about their sexuality and faith journey - hopefully enlisting their support. I'd like to be able to give them resources (Side A, Side B, and Side X) and allow them to discern for themselves with the Lord what they believe.

I'd like to offer $250 or $500 scholarships to some of these loved ones so that they can cover the registration and travel expenses to attend gay Christian conferences that are happening around the nation. What if individuals and businesses partnered together to sponsor one of them? What if we could get grants to help fund these scholarships?

New Ministry Empowerment

I would like to empower the emerging leaders of the GLBT faith community who have been inspired by God to initiate certain ministries. I'd like to assist those who want to start up gay student ministries (GSM's) on campuses, working in partnership with gay straight alliances (GSA's). I'd like to assist those who want to start ministries in their city to help coach young GLBT teens in their "coming out" process. GCB has an awesome vision for GLBT people leading the way in helping people to find "alternative environments of safety, protection, love, and acceptance". He talks about safe houses and shelters for those escaping abusive families or partners. He talks about programs to assist GLBT youth go to college. I want to empower people who have a heart for making these kinds of things happen by helping to inspire them, resource them, equip them, and help them to connect with others who can help them develop their ministry.

I believe that we must value each other's unique call and mission for ministry. Two World Collision alone cannot sustain a revolution. We all have a dream to see these kinds of things happen. But when each of us die, the vision of what we personally saw also dies. Therefore, I want to empower others who will seek to be inspired by God for their own similar vision and who will work towards accomplishing it. In this way, the dream lives on without me as God continues to inspire people with ways of connecting with their communities. Then, i'd like to see each of these new ministries networked together in partnership - sharing each other's support, encouragement, and resources. This is what will stimulate an uncontainable revolution of GLBT people living out their faith.

GLBT Faith Leaders Retreat

I would like to provide a retreat for ministry and organization leaders of the GLBT faith community to give them a context of renewal and connection. I want to serve these leaders by helping them to get away from the busyness of their operations. I want to encourage them to rest and be ministered to. I also want to help provide a context for them to connect with other leaders for mutual support and encouragement. I know how lonely it can be to be the sole leader in a ministry. I know how frustrating it can be to not have the time to brainstorm fresh thoughts and insights because of the day to day operations of the work. I want to help these leaders inspire each other - to offer ideas, experience, questions, and prayer for each other.

Church Leaders Round Table

As I establish and nurture relationships within my city (or others), I want to bring them together for dialogue. In the past, I've defined the "hot zone" as the place where homosexuality and faith and God are no longer the "unspeakable" topic. I want to bring together pastors and leaders of mainstream churches with pastors and leaders of inclusive churches for "transformational conversations that point to reconciliation" (as Zalm describes it). I suspect that this will be a challenging pursuit, however, I entrust these relationships to the Lord for His redemption and grace.

So there it is! Sankofa. "Looking backward to move forward."

In Part One, I reflected backward to the time my parents got divorced, how I struggled through the confusion of my sexuality, and when I tried to kill myself. In Part Two, I reflected backward to when I came to faith in Christ, became a part of the "church culture" that proved itself to be unwanting, and challenged those old christendom paradigms in favor of an organic paradigm of Church that involved living out a lifestyle of faith. In Part Three, I considered the journey that the Lord has just recently brought me on - of exploring what it looks like to be both gay and Christian - and finding peace and resolution. Here in Part Four, we've looked forward to potential future ministry of being a catalyst for revolution.

Who knows what the Lord has in store? What I do know is that God has given me the privilege of serving Him, as I am - both gay and Christian - and that He qualifies, inspires and empowers me to live out my faith as a lifestyle of loving Him and loving others.

In my greatest weaknesses, He reveals His strengths through me.

Update (June 29, 2006): A lot has happened since January 25, 2006 when I wrote this post. To see an evolution of the vision I articulated in this post, see May 5th's post where I announce the Catalyst Web site and blog.

Florida Connection

While I was in Florida for the GCN Conference, I had the wonderful privilege of meeting Angel. She is a fellow blogger and friend who lives in Florida and knowing that I was going to be in her neck of the woods, she and her family traveled over an hour just to meet up with me and have lunch.

Wasn't that sweet of them?

I got to meet her husband and kids and we got to hug and chat face to face for the first time. She's got an incredible heart!

I discovered Angel's blog right around the time I started Two World Collision and the thing that hooked me to hers was reading about the darndest things that her kids say and do. It's hilarious!

She was even the one who helped me get into the "GCN Official Dork Club". I was placed on probation for not being dorky enough so I was given an assignment to find out where the phrase "Alohamora" comes from and what "Squee!" means. Not having a clue what either meant, I googled them and found that they were a Harry Potter reference. Since Angel is a fan of the books, I knew she'd have the answers I needed. I was right and she helped me with my dork homework. I got in - i'm officially a dork!

Anyway, Angel has always supported me in my journey and has kept up with TWC since the beginning. I'm proud to call her my friend! It's been such a blessing getting to know her over the past several months and I'm glad we got to meet!

Angel, YOU ROCK!!!